Lessons in Sharing

As I mentioned in a previous post, Cai is rolling across the room. Well this, of course, means he is getting into all sorts of new things around the house. One of which is his brother's toys that are left on the floor. Now Ian is pretty good at sharing his toys with other kids his age. When we host music group or have his friends over for other occasions he is usually very good about asking to trade if someone is playing with a toy he wants or taking turns. But with Cai it is the end of the whole if Cai even attempts to grab one of his toys. Even toys that are safe for Cai to play/chew on Ian gets irate. Yelling "No, Cai! No chew on that!" I think I brought this on myself. For the last 6 months, I've been telling Ian that Cai is too little to play with many of his toys. But of course now that he is older some of them are perfectly safe. So I think Ian is trying to both save his toys and his brother. I wonder too if Ian has this idea as to how certain toys are to be played with. Like bowls and pans from his kitchen are for mixing, cooking and eating. Cai just wants to chew and mouth them. He's not going to harm the toy by doing this, but it's not the way you play with it. Or at least not to Ian. The last couple of days I feel like I'm constantly telling Ian three things. One: "If you don't want Cai to play with it, put it away where he can't get it." Two: "Ian don't take toys from Cai. He can play with that." Three: "Ian you need to either give that toy back or find one to give Cai instead." It's a mess. But hopefully Ian will realize sometime soon that there are things he can and needs to learn to share with his brother. Oh the joys of toddlers. And of mobile babies. :)

He's moving!!!

Cai has figured out how to move. At 6mo old not only can he scoot on his belly in a circle but he has figured out that if he rolls over several times in a row he can move closer to where he wants to go. It's not crawling, but it's still moving.It really started up yesterday. Ian was napping and I had Cai on the floor next to the computer on his play mat. When I turned to check on him he was over by the door, about 6 feet. I couldn't figure out how he got there. So to see if he would do it again I pulled him into the middle of the room. He kicked and scooted on his belly but didn't really move forward any. Then he laid his head on the floor. I thought maybe he was getting tired. But before I could pick him up he had rolled over two times. AHHH that's how he did it. Of course then he rolled into the wall and got very mad. So right now I'm caught between being amazed at this new development and frustrated at the idea that I can no longer safely put him down without checking around him first. ARGGGGG I was really hoping for the sitting in one place without moving very far very fast. Yeah that was a dream. Cai is slowing learning to sit up on his own. He can sit for up to 30 sec before falling over. It's improvement. And he does like trying to sit up. Allows him a new perspective, plus it's easier to manipulate toys in a sitting position. But the rolling has quickly become the favorite thing to do. So now I have to figure out how to provide safe floor space for Cai and this is already proving a challenge with a 2 1/2 year old running around. :)

Valentines

Today was Ian's first Valentine's party at storytime at the library. See we moved Ian from the toddler storytime to the preschool storytime. This has meant in addition to an extra story and more involved puppet show, crafts!!! It's been fun watching Ian get excited about it. And the more we're with the older kids the more I realize that he was ready for the switch. So anyway, one of the things the preschool storytime does is holiday parties. So last week the kids decorated envelopes for valentines, and this week we brought valentines for everyone. Plus us parents signed up to bring snacks and drinks. I didn't want to go out and just buy valentines. For one, I just didn't want to spend the money. Silly, I know. Two, since Ian can't write letters yet I couldn't even have him write his name. So basically I would be doing all the work myself and that just felt did not feel right. So instead we made some. I had Ian paint on colored construction paper and then I cut the paintings up into small cards. I then had him decorate each card with stickers and I wrote "Happy Valentine's Day from Ian". I added a chocolate kiss and they were done. :) I have to say for the little extra work they took it was fun. And I really felt like Ian got to help this way and thus they really are from him. He was so excited to go to storytime today. Of course he was not so sure about giving away his valentines. I had to once again explain that we made them to give to the other kids and that they in turn were going to give valentines to him. :) Anyway, it was a fun project and a fun storytime.

Brotherly Love

While putting Ian down for his nap today I was reminded how much my boys love each other. Now I must admit, while both boys have had their tantrums b/c Mom's paying attention to the other, I feel blessed in that so far my boys love being brothers. Today Cai woke up just before it was time for Ian's nap. So I laid both of them down on Ian's bed to read books. While I was reading, Cai would roll towards Ian and grab his face, arm, whatever he could reach. Now sometimes this drives Ian nuts, especially if Cai is reaching towards the book. Ian doesn't think Cai should chew on books, even board books which are meant to be chewed on. :) Part of it might be linked to the fact that his cousin accidentally riped a page in one of his books at Christmas when I was reading to the two of them. My guess is Ian just doesn't want Cai to ripe the pages. Anyway, today he didn't really mind Cai grabbing him. In fact when he rolled over to nurse (we still nurse at naptime and bedtime) he would constantly put his hand behind him to touch or hold Cai's hand. Very cute. At the same time very uncomfortable for me. Before I say goodnight to Ian at naptime or at night I say a little rhyme another mom told me about. It's an adaptation to "There was an Old Woman who lived in a shoe." Well today, before I could say it to Ian, Ian had to say it to Cai. Sometimes he'll have me say it to Cai or a stuffed animal before I can say it to him. But today he said it and did the hand movements. It goes "There was a wise mother who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she know exactly what to do (count fingers then curl them into a ball). She hugged them, and rocked them and tucked them in bed. (hug the hand, rock it and then place it on the chest) I love you I love you. Is what she said (rub head and then kiss them)" It was so cute to watch Ian say this rhyme to Cai. Another reminder of how lucky I am. And how lucky they are to share such a good bond, even if only for now. :)

The truth is, when I was pregnant with Cai I prepared myself for the worse. I prepared myself for jealousy battles from Ian. I prepared myself for screaming fits and tears from everyone. In reality most of that has not been true. From the moment Ian first met Cai he has shown him love and affection. While we have had those jealousy battles, they have been small in comparison to the battles over keeping Cai safe because Ian loves him and wants to show affections. I never imagined I would put my child in time-out because he was smothering his brother out of love. Ian loves to give Cai hugs and kisses. But sometimes he just doesn't understand how big he is and how fragile Cai still is. This has been especially true lately since Cai is now doing more and Ian see him as getting bigger. Which true. On the other hand, I'm having to remind Ian that even if Cai is bigger he is still even BIGGER than Cai. :) Oh the joys! The other thing that just took me off guard is the affection Cai has shown Ian, even from such a young age. Since at least Cai could smile, Cai has smiled, grabbed, laughed, and gazed at Ian with this look of "I love you. You're wonderful." It's really fun to see them interact. There have been times when Cai is so fussy and Ian will come up and Cai will smile at him or laugh for just a moment and then go back to being fussy. And yes, I have to say I'm alittle jealous. He doesn't do that very often with me. :( Oh well. It's just a reminder that they are their own person. And will always have a relationship with each other that I can never be a part of. I hope it continues to be a good one.