Still living in Limbo

So I got a letter informing me I did NOT receive the full tuition scholarship I applied for at AMBS. I guess there were 11 applicants and only enough funds to grant two scholarships. Now I'm waiting to hear back on my financial aid package which should be awarded sometime towards the end of June. So we're still living in limbo. I'm not ready to just say it's not going to happen. Although without full tuition covered it does complicate things. A few more positions have opened up in Elkart Co, and Mark has applied. So there is still chance for him to find a job. Although with the economy there will be tons of applicants fighting for these positions. So we have both continued to take a wait and see attitude. As summer quickly approaches, I realize how much I really do want this to work. I'm sad and even scared at the idea of leaving my friends, family and community. But I'm so much more excited at the new possibles to come. I know I have an opportunity to start taking classes here at the extension site. But somehow that idea doesn't excited me as much. I want more than just the chance to take seminary classes. Plus somehow the idea of taking night classes just isn't as appealing. And the move would signify a new step in my life; a step forward in my own personal purpose. Staying here and taking classes just doesn't have the same effect. Not that it doesn't mean I'm not starting on the journey towards something new. Just doesn't have the same symbolic meaning. So for at least another month or two I'll continue to wait and see what happens. I'm not ready to give up hope just yet.