Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Brotherly Love

While putting Ian down for his nap today I was reminded how much my boys love each other. Now I must admit, while both boys have had their tantrums b/c Mom's paying attention to the other, I feel blessed in that so far my boys love being brothers. Today Cai woke up just before it was time for Ian's nap. So I laid both of them down on Ian's bed to read books. While I was reading, Cai would roll towards Ian and grab his face, arm, whatever he could reach. Now sometimes this drives Ian nuts, especially if Cai is reaching towards the book. Ian doesn't think Cai should chew on books, even board books which are meant to be chewed on. :) Part of it might be linked to the fact that his cousin accidentally riped a page in one of his books at Christmas when I was reading to the two of them. My guess is Ian just doesn't want Cai to ripe the pages. Anyway, today he didn't really mind Cai grabbing him. In fact when he rolled over to nurse (we still nurse at naptime and bedtime) he would constantly put his hand behind him to touch or hold Cai's hand. Very cute. At the same time very uncomfortable for me. Before I say goodnight to Ian at naptime or at night I say a little rhyme another mom told me about. It's an adaptation to "There was an Old Woman who lived in a shoe." Well today, before I could say it to Ian, Ian had to say it to Cai. Sometimes he'll have me say it to Cai or a stuffed animal before I can say it to him. But today he said it and did the hand movements. It goes "There was a wise mother who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she know exactly what to do (count fingers then curl them into a ball). She hugged them, and rocked them and tucked them in bed. (hug the hand, rock it and then place it on the chest) I love you I love you. Is what she said (rub head and then kiss them)" It was so cute to watch Ian say this rhyme to Cai. Another reminder of how lucky I am. And how lucky they are to share such a good bond, even if only for now. :)

The truth is, when I was pregnant with Cai I prepared myself for the worse. I prepared myself for jealousy battles from Ian. I prepared myself for screaming fits and tears from everyone. In reality most of that has not been true. From the moment Ian first met Cai he has shown him love and affection. While we have had those jealousy battles, they have been small in comparison to the battles over keeping Cai safe because Ian loves him and wants to show affections. I never imagined I would put my child in time-out because he was smothering his brother out of love. Ian loves to give Cai hugs and kisses. But sometimes he just doesn't understand how big he is and how fragile Cai still is. This has been especially true lately since Cai is now doing more and Ian see him as getting bigger. Which true. On the other hand, I'm having to remind Ian that even if Cai is bigger he is still even BIGGER than Cai. :) Oh the joys! The other thing that just took me off guard is the affection Cai has shown Ian, even from such a young age. Since at least Cai could smile, Cai has smiled, grabbed, laughed, and gazed at Ian with this look of "I love you. You're wonderful." It's really fun to see them interact. There have been times when Cai is so fussy and Ian will come up and Cai will smile at him or laugh for just a moment and then go back to being fussy. And yes, I have to say I'm alittle jealous. He doesn't do that very often with me. :( Oh well. It's just a reminder that they are their own person. And will always have a relationship with each other that I can never be a part of. I hope it continues to be a good one.

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